These ladies. Their story.

His LOVE. His glory.

Listen, He knows your name...

I did it!

So Basically here is a brief (haha) thought process I go through each time I come remotely close to posting on a blog...or other things for that matter:

I have always been hesitant to start a blog or something because I don’t feel like I have a correct ‘direction’ or ‘vision’. I basically self-sabotage myself before I get started. It’s like if you are picking out blue paint and there are 40 options…I have too many directions I could go in that I get overwhelmed and I am paralyzed from acting at all (because I don’t want to do it wrong, I don’t want to miss it, I don’t want to leave something out, I want to get my point across, I don’t want to be misunderstood). *Even now, this is an add-in…because I went back and re-read, had more to say, wanted to say it right or in the best way (I typically end up confusing) overdetailize (not a word) it and basically judge it and delete a post/blog/idea before I even get started…anyways, read on…   But God is showing me that all I need to do is getting started. Pick up that pen (or those fingers to the keys) and begin. Just, START!

    A direction in a blog may naturally occur…and if it complete ramblings about things from something everyone knows to something no one knows; then that is okay. Because my heart behind it is that I am acting, I am doing something…and if I am doing it for God (doesn't matter what it is), then there really is no pressure I need to put on myself because He works under a state of grace and not perfection (brain, are you hearing this?!). This needs to become a solid truth in me and a standard I live by…because I will never be good enough; whether at blogging, teaching, coffee drinking, or football (shocker). But that is the point, because He is good enough, He has grace for us, and He is asking for us to only get started in something. Stop self-doubting, give Him the glory, and strive under the grace. (As you may know, this certainly does not only apply to my inability to follow through and just ‘begin’ with a blog and a post…but it is a perfect example).  
     I say all this as a continuous self-talk to me, and to warn those of you who are still reading this lengthy and quite possibly grammatically incorrect paragraph (I promise I do have an education) And I guess at times, if I am being honest, I am too overwhelmed to take the time to work at it and make it better. But that would be overwhelming if I was working under a state of perfection, but I am not...we are not; in anything. We can always strive to improve things, because we have grace to cover areas and the process. I mean, my posts may not make since, there might be 2 weeks (2 years in this blogs case) between entries…but my goal here is that I am doing it, I am taking a step and I am not exactly worried about the outcome, I am focusing on each daily process.

    Sometimes we (I know I do) get so overwhelmed at the outcome, how things look and how things are portrayed, that we miss the heart of it or what the real purpose should be. (I have a good way of over-confusing certain areas too…wait, read-on)…And that is what I need to get back into…the heart of things. My conversations are random, I switch between something as serious as someone not having enough clothes to keep them warm, or to the fact that I really want to sleep in a Target because it feels like home (but really)…that’s how my brain works and sometimes I apologize for it and other times I do not. Basically…I am a post-it. Sporadic, random, but most times, if treated with care…stick around.

     So let me finish this phrase I always find myself stopping at and repeating, because I have the pattern of quitting before I begin, self-sabotaging, and all those other ugly things that our brains are capable of and …ready, set, go!! (I am fighting the attempt to scorch that delete button and erase all the past posts and 'tabs'...or to give you blog postings about the past 2 years...haha, hold tight; thank goodness I am not. Blogs are for the current, the living in the present...exactly what God is working in and out for me) :)

*Yes, I may go back and edit this tomorrow...I will pray I do not delete it..even if I wake in the morning and think "Oh my point didn't get across" or "this makes NO since"

KinderYear 3

   It is with a slightly surreal feeling that I am now beginning to focus on the upcoming school year. My 3rd year of being a Kindergarten teacher to be exact. Teachers report back to on August 12th, students return for the first day of school on August 15th.
  This is the point in the summer where my mind begins to run on overload and I tend to go down the path of stressing out and over-thinking (no surprise there) of all the things I need,could,should get done for the upcoming school year. Prepping for my new kinder-family, my pins on Pinterest are at an all time high and I have many ideas circulating. I am experimenting with different management and positive reinforcement ideas, classroom set-up, big ideas and little ideas, etc.  I would think after a few years of teaching I could more easily delegate and organize what I need to do to get things done...hahaha.
   A goal of mine is to make sure that my classroom routines, management, reinforcements, functionality, is all done consistently and not over-detailed and where the kiddos can understand it; well developed too. (Last year, I had the 'bucket-filler' idea for reinforcing behavior, 'tickets', and 'smiles'...all these are good, but one would have worked just fine). 

   However; at the end of the day I need to remember that the kids will come, they will be loved and cared for; leaving my classroom knowing, learning and feeling the love.

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 Resources:

*hope to utilize some of the information/ideas for the upcoming school year*

Pinterest - classroom creations

The Sisters - literacy

Cupcake 4 Teacher - positive ideas

Behavior Management - card system

Over-There

Rough and Raw is this writing...but this is currently what is brewing in my mind. Totally directed to the purpose of this blog...of me getting my thoughts out and putting things into perspective. :)

    I have always had the 'dream, notion, desire, thought; etc. what have you, to go overseas to China and work in an orphanage and help others. It was a 'thought' that I think was comforted by the fact that I was in high school and it seemed like a far off possibility...not really fitting into the current life of mine. A good goal, nice idea, something I could maybe hope to fulfill one day; thought honestly, probably not something I ever considered could be come a reality. Quite consistently, a reoccurring, little peddling thought in the back of my mind, "going overseas would be nice"

 (even if 'nice' isn't exactly the correct word to place there). 

   7 years later and the thought is there, the idea is present, I can actually realistically visualize myself going overseas. I do not have the comfort of pushing it to the future...because the future is now. I am no longer thinking of the plans to make, but actually acting and reaching out. I came to that point when I knew nothing would go forward unless I made the first move; I could entertain those thoughts...or act on it.  That first move presented itself when Carissa mentioned that I should contact our Youth Pastor, Jeff. There it is, right in front of me...send an e-mail, reach out, and see what happens. So much more direct than my idea of searching Google (which is not bad, but involving someone you know, let alone your Pastor...really gets the ball rolling). See, I never truly feel I would ever be considered 'called' 'directed' or 'guided' into something by the Lord...where I could be of use. Who am I to think that I could be of use to Him...but who am I to think that I could NOT be of use to Him. My desire is to work with children, and if it also incorporates going overseas...is that not his desire in me that then becomes my ow?

   My eyes are also opening to the prospect of why I want to go and what I would do. I think in the beginning I had the overall idea in my head of what I saw myself doing. Going to China, working in an orphanage...everything fitting perfectly into place. I was rather ignorant and uneducated of what it would entail, and how I would have to open up parts of my heart and search myself in ways that I never have before...challenging to say the least. I am now find myself being stretched in a different way. I realize that I am quite selfish and prideful in my intentions...all the while pursing to be humble. I have to realize my pride, my selfishness, acknowledge and ask for help in becoming humble; get rid of the bad to make room for the good...listen and do rather than just do. (huge learning process that is currently going on and while continue to go on..as I fight the 'pride' battle).

Currently, I am involved in e-mailing Jeff concerning going somewhere overseas to work with children. I have been thinking about Africa. About the villages, about the people, about the kiddos with large brown eyes completely unaware they are searching and begging to be drowned in a unconditional acceptance of love that is so abundantly and freely given. I say this because I too am looking and want this. If my desire is for this from Him...which He freely gives, my cup is overflowing. Then what I want is to open my arms to the little ones and do my part in expressing His love to the little ones...expressing His love and embracing and realizing His love for me as well.

I want to be of use, if there is a need, I want to be able to fill that need. I know what it is like to be in a district and see children who see the difference of a loving and caring teacher. I want to be the one who shows that love and care to kiddos who aren't even aware it even exists. 

This is the beginning stages of something that may not occur, or of a life challenging experience that I may embark on. Either way, what is ahead of me I probably can't expect, so I pray my intentions are lined up with Gods and my desires are truly His for me. 

This thought, dream, idea of mine; will hopefully grow to become a reality. 

 Currently from the book I just bought, "Kisses from Katie" (how fitting) this is from one of her blog postings: and is truly a cry from my heart today...

He fought for you. you reach, and He bends, He cups your face in His hands and He says,
"Take heart. Be healed. I am for you." 

Keep reaching, friend, He's right here. His hem is wide. Let's fill our arms with gathering it. 

            -Thank you Katie :)

Wholesome

     Whole30...ever heard of it? Have any idea what it may be, entail? Is it hard? Is it safe? Does it work and is  it realistic? What is the point? Have you ever tried it before? Does it catch your attention right away? Well these are just a few questions I had when my sister-in-law, Katie, told me she was doing something called the "Whole30". 

Whole30 is a 30-day challenge (to your body) to reset your nutritional system and get rid of all the junk we don't really need. I was told it would take care of food cravings, boost metabolism, calm digestives, give you energy, improve your sleeping pattern, and give you an all around glow. As I list these off I see the common thread in all of them; it's because you are not only eating healthy you are eating wholeistically! The trigger that got me on the wagon? The fact that it is a 30-day challenge with in end, but has the intention and promise that it will change and effect your lifestyle afterwards. Whole30 is all about eating food that will do something to help your body... :)

Needless to say, I am on Day 4 of this challenge and I already have noticed some differences. I would have to say that the first 2 days were rough, mainly because it was all a mental thing. But guess what? There is so much that you can eat that is com-pliable and it is 100% natural and good for you (I am not talking all organic here...because even those packaged organic things are a no-go). Day 1 and 2 were hard because I craved grains, and dairy (2 no-nos, think of their ingredient list!). However, after day 2, I no longer am craving either...because it is no longer in my system. I also do not crave them because I know what they contain and what they can do to my body...mainly what it can't do though. 

I will be finishing up my challenge a few days into my family trip to North Carolina...thank goodness seafood is compliable. I will not be keeping a consistent track of my progress, struggles, successes, etc. There are other blogs distinctly dedicated to that found through the Whole30 website. I will however post recipes or things that I have found I enjoy. And please, by all means, shoot me a message/comment if you are interested. I'm one of those who hear testimonies and think: yea, but if it happens to me then I'll buy into it...so here goes something and testing and daring it to work for me. 

:) 

Until then, happy Thursday. I am still in Chicago and LOOOOOOVING it! 

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Windy City Reunited

    I am spending the week in Chicago visiting Drew and Katie!
I easily forget how wonderful it is that I have such a close relationship with Katie.
 I think that has also brought Drew and I closer together too.
 I am very excited to spend quality time with them...and of course explore the city more. :)

This is my 5th time coming to visit...I wan to be more than a tourist this time...

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**Pictures below are courtesy of D&K

 As much as I want to put off the vibe and dwell as a local; I cannot resist taking pictures (a ridiculous amount I think) or craning my neck. However, I told Katie that my plan was to spend my money strategically as a local and not like a tourist. No touristy spots; more one of a kind spots. I have been successful on that vibe thus far (my wallet thanks me). 
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 I am so happy for Drew & Katie; living life in the city as a young married couple, actively involved in their profession. I do miss them dearly, and continue to hope that one day they will be closer than 7 hours from me. :) With me now living in the country, it is great to get a 'city fix' when I go to visit them. While visiting was entertaining and exciting...I have a new respect for the calm life of Shenandoah. Where natural beauty is magnified and conversation is/should be cherished even more. Non the less; I look forward to my visits to the Windy City and seeing Drew & Katie.

Enjoying "The Bean" @ Millennium Park

Golden Valley

Oh happy Sunday!

After a pattern of storms in the area; I woke to a sunny day with puffy clouds in the sky.

 My mom, aunt, and I, decided to go out to Brunch at:

Golden Valley, MN.

I enjoy having brunch at Cafe's; especially Cafe's with their own original style and menu.

 I took the liberty of snapping some photos nonchalantly (to my best ability) with my iphone lol...prepare to have your mouth water.

I strongly recommend taking a visit to this place.

 They have a Bloddy Mary bar, Mimosas, and excellent coffee too. 

Although I have only tried the coffee; I am sure the others are good too. 

You can have these while you wait to be seated.

Only drawback: it is a bit loud in the Cafe.


Have a fabulous & hopefully sunny Sunday!