These ladies. Their story.

His LOVE. His glory.

Listen, He knows your name...

I did it!

So Basically here is a brief (haha) thought process I go through each time I come remotely close to posting on a blog...or other things for that matter:

I have always been hesitant to start a blog or something because I don’t feel like I have a correct ‘direction’ or ‘vision’. I basically self-sabotage myself before I get started. It’s like if you are picking out blue paint and there are 40 options…I have too many directions I could go in that I get overwhelmed and I am paralyzed from acting at all (because I don’t want to do it wrong, I don’t want to miss it, I don’t want to leave something out, I want to get my point across, I don’t want to be misunderstood). *Even now, this is an add-in…because I went back and re-read, had more to say, wanted to say it right or in the best way (I typically end up confusing) overdetailize (not a word) it and basically judge it and delete a post/blog/idea before I even get started…anyways, read on…   But God is showing me that all I need to do is getting started. Pick up that pen (or those fingers to the keys) and begin. Just, START!

    A direction in a blog may naturally occur…and if it complete ramblings about things from something everyone knows to something no one knows; then that is okay. Because my heart behind it is that I am acting, I am doing something…and if I am doing it for God (doesn't matter what it is), then there really is no pressure I need to put on myself because He works under a state of grace and not perfection (brain, are you hearing this?!). This needs to become a solid truth in me and a standard I live by…because I will never be good enough; whether at blogging, teaching, coffee drinking, or football (shocker). But that is the point, because He is good enough, He has grace for us, and He is asking for us to only get started in something. Stop self-doubting, give Him the glory, and strive under the grace. (As you may know, this certainly does not only apply to my inability to follow through and just ‘begin’ with a blog and a post…but it is a perfect example).  
     I say all this as a continuous self-talk to me, and to warn those of you who are still reading this lengthy and quite possibly grammatically incorrect paragraph (I promise I do have an education) And I guess at times, if I am being honest, I am too overwhelmed to take the time to work at it and make it better. But that would be overwhelming if I was working under a state of perfection, but I am not...we are not; in anything. We can always strive to improve things, because we have grace to cover areas and the process. I mean, my posts may not make since, there might be 2 weeks (2 years in this blogs case) between entries…but my goal here is that I am doing it, I am taking a step and I am not exactly worried about the outcome, I am focusing on each daily process.

    Sometimes we (I know I do) get so overwhelmed at the outcome, how things look and how things are portrayed, that we miss the heart of it or what the real purpose should be. (I have a good way of over-confusing certain areas too…wait, read-on)…And that is what I need to get back into…the heart of things. My conversations are random, I switch between something as serious as someone not having enough clothes to keep them warm, or to the fact that I really want to sleep in a Target because it feels like home (but really)…that’s how my brain works and sometimes I apologize for it and other times I do not. Basically…I am a post-it. Sporadic, random, but most times, if treated with care…stick around.

     So let me finish this phrase I always find myself stopping at and repeating, because I have the pattern of quitting before I begin, self-sabotaging, and all those other ugly things that our brains are capable of and …ready, set, go!! (I am fighting the attempt to scorch that delete button and erase all the past posts and 'tabs'...or to give you blog postings about the past 2 years...haha, hold tight; thank goodness I am not. Blogs are for the current, the living in the present...exactly what God is working in and out for me) :)

*Yes, I may go back and edit this tomorrow...I will pray I do not delete it..even if I wake in the morning and think "Oh my point didn't get across" or "this makes NO since"