Over-There

Rough and Raw is this writing...but this is currently what is brewing in my mind. Totally directed to the purpose of this blog...of me getting my thoughts out and putting things into perspective. :)

    I have always had the 'dream, notion, desire, thought; etc. what have you, to go overseas to China and work in an orphanage and help others. It was a 'thought' that I think was comforted by the fact that I was in high school and it seemed like a far off possibility...not really fitting into the current life of mine. A good goal, nice idea, something I could maybe hope to fulfill one day; thought honestly, probably not something I ever considered could be come a reality. Quite consistently, a reoccurring, little peddling thought in the back of my mind, "going overseas would be nice"

 (even if 'nice' isn't exactly the correct word to place there). 

   7 years later and the thought is there, the idea is present, I can actually realistically visualize myself going overseas. I do not have the comfort of pushing it to the future...because the future is now. I am no longer thinking of the plans to make, but actually acting and reaching out. I came to that point when I knew nothing would go forward unless I made the first move; I could entertain those thoughts...or act on it.  That first move presented itself when Carissa mentioned that I should contact our Youth Pastor, Jeff. There it is, right in front of me...send an e-mail, reach out, and see what happens. So much more direct than my idea of searching Google (which is not bad, but involving someone you know, let alone your Pastor...really gets the ball rolling). See, I never truly feel I would ever be considered 'called' 'directed' or 'guided' into something by the Lord...where I could be of use. Who am I to think that I could be of use to Him...but who am I to think that I could NOT be of use to Him. My desire is to work with children, and if it also incorporates going overseas...is that not his desire in me that then becomes my ow?

   My eyes are also opening to the prospect of why I want to go and what I would do. I think in the beginning I had the overall idea in my head of what I saw myself doing. Going to China, working in an orphanage...everything fitting perfectly into place. I was rather ignorant and uneducated of what it would entail, and how I would have to open up parts of my heart and search myself in ways that I never have before...challenging to say the least. I am now find myself being stretched in a different way. I realize that I am quite selfish and prideful in my intentions...all the while pursing to be humble. I have to realize my pride, my selfishness, acknowledge and ask for help in becoming humble; get rid of the bad to make room for the good...listen and do rather than just do. (huge learning process that is currently going on and while continue to go on..as I fight the 'pride' battle).

Currently, I am involved in e-mailing Jeff concerning going somewhere overseas to work with children. I have been thinking about Africa. About the villages, about the people, about the kiddos with large brown eyes completely unaware they are searching and begging to be drowned in a unconditional acceptance of love that is so abundantly and freely given. I say this because I too am looking and want this. If my desire is for this from Him...which He freely gives, my cup is overflowing. Then what I want is to open my arms to the little ones and do my part in expressing His love to the little ones...expressing His love and embracing and realizing His love for me as well.

I want to be of use, if there is a need, I want to be able to fill that need. I know what it is like to be in a district and see children who see the difference of a loving and caring teacher. I want to be the one who shows that love and care to kiddos who aren't even aware it even exists. 

This is the beginning stages of something that may not occur, or of a life challenging experience that I may embark on. Either way, what is ahead of me I probably can't expect, so I pray my intentions are lined up with Gods and my desires are truly His for me. 

This thought, dream, idea of mine; will hopefully grow to become a reality. 

 Currently from the book I just bought, "Kisses from Katie" (how fitting) this is from one of her blog postings: and is truly a cry from my heart today...

He fought for you. you reach, and He bends, He cups your face in His hands and He says,
"Take heart. Be healed. I am for you." 

Keep reaching, friend, He's right here. His hem is wide. Let's fill our arms with gathering it. 

            -Thank you Katie :)

Windy City Reunited

    I am spending the week in Chicago visiting Drew and Katie!
I easily forget how wonderful it is that I have such a close relationship with Katie.
 I think that has also brought Drew and I closer together too.
 I am very excited to spend quality time with them...and of course explore the city more. :)

This is my 5th time coming to visit...I wan to be more than a tourist this time...

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**Pictures below are courtesy of D&K

 As much as I want to put off the vibe and dwell as a local; I cannot resist taking pictures (a ridiculous amount I think) or craning my neck. However, I told Katie that my plan was to spend my money strategically as a local and not like a tourist. No touristy spots; more one of a kind spots. I have been successful on that vibe thus far (my wallet thanks me). 
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 I am so happy for Drew & Katie; living life in the city as a young married couple, actively involved in their profession. I do miss them dearly, and continue to hope that one day they will be closer than 7 hours from me. :) With me now living in the country, it is great to get a 'city fix' when I go to visit them. While visiting was entertaining and exciting...I have a new respect for the calm life of Shenandoah. Where natural beauty is magnified and conversation is/should be cherished even more. Non the less; I look forward to my visits to the Windy City and seeing Drew & Katie.

Enjoying "The Bean" @ Millennium Park

Home-Bode

   Good afternoon/evening!
       It feels like afternoon because the sun is shining in the sky...but it is about 6:00; so evening it is. What a beautiful, but clammy day it has been. I have absolutely nothing less than positive to say about the weather...because it is summer time & the weather is appropriate. This is saying something, especially since I am 6hours further north than I have been for the beginning part of summer.
       For those of you who do not know, I came home to Minnesota for the summer. I haven't truly lived at home since my sophomore/junior year of college. You can check my "Midwest Living" tab to read more about it. Ultimately, it is a delight to be back and familiarizing myself with the surroundings again. I never thought I would be so interested in the suburbs and appreciative of the different selections. I am and it is great! A positive from living in SW-Iowa for the past 2 years and then coming home for an extended amount of time. My mother truly enjoys that I still call Apple Valley home; I think I always will. :)

Enjoying a nice Thai salad with my mom

    I decided to come home because one of the many benefits of being a teacher (a part from changing the lives of children) are the summers! With me living so far away from home, I can't just go home for the weekend; I have, but it is short lived. I have dear friends who live in the Cities, both from my childhood and college. I also get to spend time with my mom and dad in my childhood home..my bedroom living space is something to get used to lol. However, I am so thankful I get the summer to have an extended amount of time to come home and see my loved one's that I have missed. There are a lot of people out there who have moved away and are unable to make it home for a period of time unless they use 'vacation' days.

Lake Marion

       With all of this said, I do miss my SW place and the dear friends that are there too. 6 weeks is a long time to go without them and it will be a treat upon my return...however, I am going to enjoy my time here to the fullest! I honestly think I appreciate certain things that I used to not notice or take for granted. Like the different choices in grocery stores, the coffee shops, the places to eat lunch, the beaches...oh my goodness I have missed the beaches! The trees, I love the trees and how they bend in the wind and how they line the road that I drive down on my way home. I think this cheesy part of appreciation comes from the gap between High School and now. When I was in college I came back home a lot and was still frequently involved with life in Apple Valley. Now moving away, I am away from it throughout the year and glad to be immersed back into it and not feel like such a visitor...since I am here for an extended time.

Carissa & Courtney @ Coffee Time (Caribou) :)

       I have a feeling I am repeating myself on this post and I probably am (I have that tendency) but this helps me get my thoughts out and puts into perspective how I look at it. Kind of relates to my previous post of letting go of the past. I am a completely different person than I was in High School and have even changed since college. So coming back home to familiar surroundings gives me a new perspective...and I enjoy it. I don't have feelings of sadness and "oh, back then..." but it is weird to be sitting at the Caribou Coffee (no surprise) that I sat at when I was 16 working on Science homework with a friend. Any-who...enjoy your evening and if you are chilly wherever you are embrace it :)

Quarter of a Cent...

     My 25th birthday was on June 12th. 

 My mom and dad came down for a few days. 

I am so thankful to have had them with my on my birthday, living 6hrs. away & all.

We went out to eat the night before my birthday, and then my mom blessedly made "Birthday Brunch" for us, my 2 friends Heather & Patty along with Patty's Niece Kayla, and Patty's daughter Zoey. It was such a lovely morning and a great way to bring in this new stage of my life. :)

1/ Birthday candle! 2/Blueberry Muffins by mom from scratch!

3/Brunch plate! 4/Patty, me, Heather! 5/Zoey-babe

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Later in the evening I went to the Emerald Isle in Imogene, Iowa for a margarita. The Isle has become like a family place to me over the past few years; I have been welcomed in and appreciate the people there. The band playing dedicated a song to me and many birthday wishers got a straw and helped celebrate. I am blessed to have such delightful people in my life and to have come to adore the people in SW-Iowa as though I have known them for a long time. 

1/me, Kat, Stacey 2/not a solo attempt 

3/TC-Michael 4/in awe of Micheal

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   Turning 25 was a bit rough for me. It is such a defining age; and you really transition into being an adult. I have accomplished so much since graduating...it's crazy. However, I struggle with looking back on where I have been and wonder where I am going (I think it comes with the age) sometimes I feel like I am waiting for something to happen. This verse speaks truth into my life:

Isaiah 43: 18pt of 19

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past. 

See, I am doing a new thing!"

Birthday flowers.

Holding on...

My Love for you won’t walk out, 

fail, or ever come to an end. 

 (Deut. 31:8)

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*Today my mind is getting in the way of being receptive to the Word. To letting it sink in and penetrate my heart and soul. I want His words to be written on my heart (Psalm 40:8). A deep struggle of mine is fully grasping, accepting, and understanding that God is 100% for me and Loves me at all times. That nothing changes that, no matter how horrible, ridiculous, or passive I am. It is not about me, it is about Him. I fear if I let my guard down to vulnerability and hope, I will be left and rejected. As if I am striving to be accepted by God; forgetting that I cannot earn grace and that I am already accepted by Him. In the Bible it says His love is constant, He is for me, He remains faithful even in my unfaithfullness. Although I am fleeting in my thoughts and decisions and acceptance...He is not. Have I ever truly accepted this and trusted this? I want to, and I need to. God's word is unchanging and His love is steadfast...I need to grab on to that, white-knuckled and all.

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He is alive and real and present. Although my feelings may change, or my thoughts tell me otherwise...he is ever present and FOR ME!

      

KinderGarten

     I finished my 2nd year as a Kindergarten teacher here in Shenandoah on May 23rd. This past year has been one of great blessings. My 2012-13 class has impacted me both professionally and personally...all for the better. Looking back on the past year; it is difficult to express in words how precious and priceless my group is (thankful to a classroom blog I have that were able to capture some of those moments and share with the parents). At the beginning of the year I dearly missed my 1st class of kiddos. However, although I still hold my 1st class close to my heart; this 2nd batch, my heart quickly made room for them and I will truly cherish the moments forever.

The K-family

    It is the little things in teaching, the moments that are brushed by -unnoticed at times, smiled or waved away in-between those 'lessons'- that create such raw and true moments. My kiddos this year were sponges who soaked in what they were learning. They wanted more, they wanted the why, the how, the who, when, and yes, even the what. Above that, the were interested in each other and concerning feelings and thoughts.
    We became a family...so much more than just a room of 20 students and 1 teacher. They care about one another and even though have arguments (they are only 5 &6) they truly enjoyed each others company and learning with one another. I rarely heard sounds of despair when I mentioned we were doing the Daily 5 or Math Centers...success on the teacher part. The left reading and adding and with the confidence that although things are hard at times...they are encouraged to dream anything and work hard.

Our countdown paper chain...each child is important just like each chain link.

    Some of my fondest memories are spawned from,  "Oh! Miss Samuels I JUST had this great idea!!" "Mommy! I mean, oh Miss....Ah!!! I can't figure out who you are!" :) They are too adorable. Each morning they would come into the classroom talking to one another...some coming straight towards me with a list of comments, concerns and questions (yes the hand did have to go up and tell them to return to their seats and wait for me to come to them). As one child freezes with mouth opens and backs up to his seat to sit down...this class was usually able to redirect quite quickly.  Yes there were many times of redirection, discussions on appropriate times to talk, and practicing good listening skills. They are young and they need reminders...just like me. The look in their eyes when they were 'caught' or 'stopped' instant remorse or realization quickly replaced with the look of relief and determination to try better the next time; most often. Ha ha.
    Hugs from my dear ones are the best...they can mend any bad day or hurt heart. The picture below is a class picture that was taken at the beginning of the school year. This is one of my favorites, because it shows our Mustang pride (home of the Mustangs & Fillies) it was during Homecoming week...and it has 2 kiddos in it that moved away before the end of the school year. We had a total of 4 students move from our class this year...and it was a big deal for each one. We continued to call their spot by their name and say, "so-&-so is with another K-family"...they were so concerned about one another. :)

  With summer here they left me with a hug knowing they would see me throughout the summer and encouraged to come back and visit me as they were confident "1st Graders".

This SoutWest

My view as I am posting :)

    My afternoon took a turn for some physical productiveness after leaving the aroma of coffee and library with a few novels tucked into my 31 bag. I was sitting on the patio; a place I have truly become to embrace the past few weeks (oddly, I neglected it last year). Needless to say, I decided that since I had no plans for the day I would go on a 'little bike-ride'.
    Here in SouthWest Iowa, a bike ride most usually consists of traveling on the Wabash Trace; outfitted with dirt paths and old wooden railroad bridges. I had initial plans to ride to the 2nd road..about 3 miles out...round trip of a total 6 miles. However, in the back of my mind I thought...why not just bike all the way to the Emerald Isle (located in Imogene if you looked at the Wabash Trace map)? It was a rather daring thought; 8 miles of gravel and up-hill...alone, with no phone (don't read this mom). However, my casual ride had turned into a work-out, I have biked the route many times last year (emphasis needed) and felt the motivation to do it today.  I was cruisin' on my set of wheels...feeling the burn. It was a great ride, the weather was fabulous, sun shining, tractors planting, birds chirping, I even caught a scent of lilacs (thank you Lord).
   

only 2 stops while cruising

     Upon arriving, I shakily walked in and straight up to the bar. "Large water please". I felt accomplished, and kind of liked that I had done it all alone. "Just out cruising for the afternoon" was how I said it. Kind of silly because there were actual "bikers" (vroom vroom) eating in the restaurant too. I chatted with the owner's for a little bit and then I was on my way.

     The ride back was a little less intense then the ride there, but 1/2 way I was wishing I had eaten a fuller lunch. :) Needless to say, I enjoy looking at SouthWest Iowa from the view of the Trace and crossing those old wooden railroad bridges.

Bests / MTH

   My dear friend, Carissa, and Melissa came to visit me 2 weekends ago. This was a much needed  visit; filled with many lovely activities and created many memories. It is a great feeling to have my 2 dear ones with me in my apartment on Main; however, the bittersweet feeling of them leaving came too soon....never the less; it was nice to have my 2-worlds collide into 1. :)
   Although we are all graduated and pursuing our dream in careers and personal life; we still find ourselves laying on the couch, giggling, and talking about anything and everything. I truly believe it's the friends that connect with our spirit and soul that are the ones that will be in our lives forever.
   Being from the 'burbs of MPLS...it's fun to play the "Country Lifestyle" card. A friend of mine has horses and so we spent the day riding horses and taking pictures of 'Country Life' at his farm.  The pictures were intended for my sister-in-law (Katie) she teaches Kindergarten in Chicago. She is doing a 'Farm' unit with her kids...some of them have never seen or heard a Cow 'MOO'! I was glad to help out. :)

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Great company on a Saturday

     One of the things we did on the 'Eve of my dear ones arriving in the SW, was something called MTH. I was completely unaware as to what this meant; all I heard through the aisles of Wal-Mart while getting groceries was, "This will be great for our MTH tonight". While sitting around my kitchen table Friday evening, I was introduced to 'MTH'.
    Making Things Happen, is basically a challenge. A challenge to stop thinking and wishing for things in life and for things to be a certain way...and to go out and make it happen. A challenge to make your dreams come true; stop entertaining the thoughts an ideas...and go and do it; put it to action! Carissa and Melissa had started it prior to our visit...I dove in that evening (I am still to this day in the works of it).

MTH...

  Check out the site for yourself. I cannot do it justice by explaining it, Lara does it fabulously. Basically, you are meant to live life to the fullest...and that should consist of your dreams and what fires you up. We are deeply loved and opening our eyes to the truth of this allows us to begin acting on our dreams and creating those lists (with purpose) to attain those goals, plans etc. On Lara's site you can find encouragement through personal testimonies, scripture, quote-thoughts, etc. This is a great site that is both uplifting and encouraging. If you feel alone and that no one will understand your dreams...here is a start CLICK.

Sorrow needs to bring about change

Enter C.S Lewis quote.

" "

I never really grasped the truth in this quote until the past couple of weeks. 

The Bible teaches us about worldly sorrow and Godly sorrow. 

(insert Bible verse here) 

"insert the event...and feelings and struggle here"

running over what happened again and again was making it worse

...start it. because sometimes the thoughts and feelings will come later..

"the darkness doesn't have any answers..."

& so it begins...

Hi friends!

How do I start my first blog post? Well, I am going to go with the approach of relaying as briefly as possible how this ‘Shenandoah’ blog came to be.  Prior to graduation I applied to teaching positions. All applications were filled with their fair share of questions, preferences, cover letters etc. I applied to positions as far west as Montana & as far east as North Carolina.  Why? Well, I had nothing holding me back; I knew that if I wanted too, I could go anywhere. I was open for going anywhere too, I was praying about it and had to trust in God to open a window of opportunity for me. Well, he did; in Iowa.

            Contrary to what some people may think, Iowa is the absolutely, most perfect place for me to be right now. (Side note: my entire extended family lives throughout Iowa). One day,  I found myself randomly applying for positions in Iowa. I said God opened a window for me? I didn’t know how wonderfully perfect of a window it would be. (He really does know my desires and what I need!) Fast-Forward & Condense Version: I applied to SSD on a Tuesday. I received a phone call from the principal that Thursday. I had a skype interview that Friday. An hour and a half later I answered a phone call asking me to get back on skype. 10 minutes later I was replying, “Yes! I would love to!” to the question, “We would like to offer you the Kindergarten position. What do you think about that for a graduation present?”  I could not stop smiling, my dear friends Carissa and Beth were with me at the time and can attest to my ‘freak-out’ I had for the next 4 hours.
            I can say that as of 7PM this evening, I signed the contract and am officially a Kindergarten teacher of Shenandoah School District for the 2011-2012 school year! I move on August 2^nd and the nerves are beginning to settle in (it is a new kind of freak-out). For those of you who are unfamiliar with Iowa, Shenandoah is in the southwest corner of the state; about a hop, skip, & jump away from Nebraska, Missouri, & Kansas. feeling a whole lot of bittersweet emotions. I am excited, terrified, content, scared, ready, hesitant. Though I am not alone. God opened a window for me and I am ready to see what else is waiting for me. Let's do this!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5